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Guidelines To Enjoy Your Stay
In The Socialist Republic Of Nerocipher
( And avoid incarceration! )
Welcome tourist, to The Socialist Republic Of Nerocipher. We hope that your journey will been pleasant and uneventful, and that you manage to navigate the states dense jungle. We would like to wish you a pleasant stay in our beautiful and harmonious Republic.
Although you are free to roam throughout our Republic we would like to bring to your attention, certain guidelines for tourists. These guidelines have been published for your safety and security whilst you are visiting our Republic. If for any reason any of these guidelines are abused or not adhered to, then swift and decisive action will be taken against any dissident.
Again, we hope that you will enjoy your visit to The Socialist Republic Of Nerocipher.
GUIDELINES
Playing with fire may get you burnt – don’t come crying to us if this happens.
Playing with angle grinders is dangerous – use safety equipment where applicable.
Always mop up stray urine on the toilet seat.
Alcohol impairs judgement – your on your own so don’t ask anyone for advice.
Do not feed the animals – unless you want to be furred to death.
Do not spill any alcohol – this is a waste of the Republics resources
and will be
punished severely.
Fireworks are to be only used by authorised personnel.
Swimming in the Republics natural lake is strictly prohibited.
Only media approved by the Republic may be viewed/heard.
After the recent Opening Ceremony of the SRNC we have had to include a few more, very important guidelines, for your own safety. They are as follows:
Beware of the sugar bag – it may impair your vision.
Beware of the Republics State assured fertilizer – it may get a wee bit hot.
May your stay within The Socialist Republic Of Nerocipher be a pleasant experience, and we hope to have the pleasure of your company in the very near future.
Kind regards.
Consulate General Of The Socialist Republic Of Nerocipher
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